tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6058072377999486184.post1422284338788972533..comments2023-12-29T18:13:21.495-06:00Comments on pink scare: Pro-sex? Anti-porn? Where do I fall?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6058072377999486184.post-3822677639377333522017-04-18T05:51:15.677-05:002017-04-18T05:51:15.677-05:00i wanna block all vpn all proxy webs that all are ...i wanna block all vpn all proxy webs that all are attached with s.x Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456466874556891556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6058072377999486184.post-27466320467642687202017-04-18T05:50:39.706-05:002017-04-18T05:50:39.706-05:00i wanna block all vpn all proxy webs that all are ...i wanna block all vpn all proxy webs that all are attached with s.x Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17456466874556891556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6058072377999486184.post-10846261379136670582009-09-02T18:03:41.711-05:002009-09-02T18:03:41.711-05:00Pink Scare,
The story of the man who shot up the ...Pink Scare,<br /><br />The story of the man who shot up the gym made me do a similar self-evaluation on the subject of relationships and, like you, I haven't fully reconciled thins. As a man, I found myself both detesting the man's actions and being sympathetic to his feelings.<br /><br />You said, "<b>What's clear is that a lot of men think they have a right or entitlement to have sex with women, simply for being alive</b>..." and I think that's too simplistic. I don't feel entitled to anything, but I do feel a frustration that comes from simply being a man and knowing that I am a "servant and supplicant" to women sexually, to take a line from Christopher Hitchens.<br /><br />Thoreau said "most men live lives of quiet desperation"; I think this sums up my feelings on the subject. To say that "men think they have a right or entitlement" is to be insensitive to the plight of men. I have found a measure of peace on the subject, but I think it's easy for women to poo poo men's desires because they simply don't feel the same way. In some ways, I imagine it was easier in the past: women traded their bodies for security and men traded wealth for sexual passage. Now, women no longer need to make the exchange, if they don't want to, which places men at a disadvantage. I think what you're seeing in these "trash movies" and porn is men's attempts to deal with feeling powerless. Which is, of course, the appeal of being a "stud" or porn star: men who have a commanding presence with women feel powerful.<br /><br />I think what you're proposing is logically impossible as long as humans are the way they are. As long as women have control of their bodies (a good thing) and restrict men's access sexually, there will always be a remnant of men who find a sex-ersatz. There will always be men who, for variouus reasons, can't find the sex and affection they desire. Men can no longer treat women as chattel and prostitution brings the risk of disease, loss or reputation, and/or imprisonment. Can you think of a better solution for them than masturbation or than a ascetic lifestyle?<br /><br />The short story of history is this: eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap. I think the Pennsylvania Shooter came out on the wrong end of a realization men have to contend with: our very existences are paltry. One verile man can handle the procreative needs of a whole community. Women in ages past have had to compromise for security and protection sake. Now, with police forces and gender-neutral career options, women hold all the chips. Frankly, I'm a little surprised more men don't lash out.<br /><br />Toolbit out.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6058072377999486184.post-19724967100267233382009-08-14T23:21:38.086-05:002009-08-14T23:21:38.086-05:00Unless you are fundamentally opposed, in principle...Unless you are fundamentally opposed, in principle, to people producing erotic photos, literature, or videos, the I think its rather difficult to be opposed to porn as such. <br /><br />Being pretty pessimistic about the possibilities of it being better anytime soon is reasonable, I think. Especially when SO much porn is really, really awful. It's formulaic, cynical, and really panders to the worst of status quo sexist intuitions. It's also really racist in a lot of cases. Most of it strikes me as frustrating and apalling and profoundly UNerotic. <br /><br />Still -I think the MacKinnon line is politically problematic because it casts too wide a net -it has problems distinguishing itself from Religious Right anti-pornism since it is insufficiently precise in its criticism. <br /><br />I can't comment on your specific reactions, but on this issue I often think of parellels in culture (and porn, for better or worse, is part of our culture) like film. SO much blockbuster film is AWFUL. Really bad stuff (e.g. The Ugly Truth) which is RIFE with sexist bullshit. Its equally apalling, and has many of the same tropes, as bad mainstream porn. <br /><br />I have no problems, in principle, with people taking erotic photos or making erotic videos of naked people. But unfortunately there's tons more baggage tacked onto the products churned out by the Porn Industry. <br /><br />Or take a beer analogy. If all beer tasted like Busch I'm not sure I would be a big fan of beer. In fact, aside from a couple strange circumstances, I don't think I would really drink much beer at all if it were all like Busch. Luckily its not. <br /><br />The same could be said of sex. If all sex really were like the interactions in porn, I'm not sure I would be such a fan. I'm not saying I wouldn't still have certain impulses, but if all sex were like porn I think I honestly would dread it in important respects.thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05268192967377248928noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6058072377999486184.post-35278619814531654922009-08-14T19:55:37.546-05:002009-08-14T19:55:37.546-05:00Well, I don't know exactly, in retrospect, wha...Well, I don't know exactly, in retrospect, what I think I need to decide on still.<br /><br />After my partner read this post he said, "Well...people will still need to beat off." And I get that. I do. But...does it have to be with porn? <br /><br />I guess the question I go back to, that I haven't resolved in my mind, is whether porn can actually be made better. Of if I think the spectator/actor fundamental of it is too much to overcome. To put it succinctly, "Can there be good porn or is porn fundamentally only capable of producing unhealthy relationships between two people?"<br /><br />I don't want to be a puritan about it, like you said, and I also don't want to be a crazy anti-porn Dworkin or MacKinnon, and yet I think I might hate porn as such, regardless of how it's done.Arvillahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02966511261153415467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6058072377999486184.post-31345747760279523912009-08-13T14:51:56.305-05:002009-08-13T14:51:56.305-05:00First of all, I think I agree with most everything...First of all, I think I agree with most everything you've said. But I'm puzzled by what you say about 'falling on one side or the other'. I'm not sure what to make of the sides you have in mind. Are you thinking of distinctions like "pro sex" or "anti sex" (prude, whatever) or "pro porn" vs. "anti porn"? If I've understood you correctly, I seems to me that you want to reject this prescribed choice entirely. <br /><br />I mean, I hear you saying "I don't have a problem with sex as such, I have a problem with oppressive features of current ways of thinking about sex". Or, succinctly: you don't reject porn or sex, but *bad* porn and *bad* sex. For me its kind of like movies or music. When I am disgusted by the fact that they spend millions making movies like "The Ugly Truth", I don't therefore express an aversion to movies as such. Just bad ones that propagate sexist garbage and reified gender norms. I think my feelings about porn are similar. I'm not against the idea of erotic film/photography/art/whatever, but the fact is that most of the artefacts churned out by the 'porn industry' merely replicate existing forms of oppression at the same time that they help create new ones. <br /><br />A lot of sex, like a lot of relationships, social interactions, norms, etc. is marred by inveterate sexism. For me, a lot of the problems with the 'if it feels good do it' mentality is that it (besides being banal and hardly subversive in the least) is a perverse kind of consumerism. Its a messed up way of seeing other people, of thining about relationships. Intimacy is replaced with a kind of exchange value, with fluctuations in the prices of objects. <br /><br />A lot of men talk about sex as though they were increasing the value of a stock (their stock) by having 'had' or 'conquered' certain women. By the same token, I hear virginity talked about in similar terms: you don't want to give it all up because then you are less attractive on the market for men to marry. To reject this isn't to take up the hysterical traditionalist rejection of sexual pleasure, although this is how I often feel people who make this critique get painted.thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05268192967377248928noreply@blogger.com